parts.

The page stays blank. My mind spins uncontrollably. The lullaby that used to comfort me, has been seized in the night by demons that control it. The world is a mess and our lives misunderstood. When do we take a stance? When do we start breathing life into our lives and when does the truth finally come out? Life is like a puzzle. Until the end of our days, we continue to keep fitting piece after piece into our picture perfect little worlds. Sometimes the pieces fit but most times they don't and we continually keep trying to pound the wrong piece into the right place or even the right piece into the wrong place. We play games with ourselves trying to convince the puzzle that it's wrong ... we turn our circumstances upside down, and inside out, trying to debunk the obvious not realizing that it will never be. The puzzle is already determined. How and if we finish is decided by you. and me.

I am pieces of myself, scattered … I have sentenced myself to a life of always wanting more, never knowing how to settle with what I should. I want my life to take shape and mold and blend and melt into what it is ultimately colored to be. But. I keep space. I build walls. I walk bridges between the circumstances (back and forth and back and forth) and I never fully commit to allowing the pieces to just … fit. I want. I expect. I need; too much. Or maybe it’s too little.
I am trying to make sense of what is going on. in this world, in my life, of the dreams that have become the makeup of me, of you and your thoughts. our lies … of and to each other. of our fears … our desires …
I prayed for perspective and when it showed up on my doorstep, I was amazed with the force that it slapped me with. My world changed. Unexpectedly … and in a moment the puzzle made sense. The pieces began to fit … perhaps not permanently, perhaps not forever, perhaps only momentarily, but in that lovely moment my perspective became my hope and in that hope became my ability to live and through living, I loved. I swelled with emotion as I felt my faith soar to another level. I wondered then, if I would ever be the same.

~2008

photo found at: coolchaser.com