It was the quintessential look. my eyes bleeding with confusion, waring from a disease I imposed upon myself. I could not take my eyes from the past, they were glued to an illusion.
they were hard pressed to love.
I felt lost with the absence of you and torn at a crossroads of letting you go or hanging on.
I spoke with fervor during those months to the God I had failed, so many times before, to know.
I suddenly hung onto his grace as If my life depended on it,
and in many ways, it did.
he saved me from a feral disaster. an impending downfall. a cowardly ache.
he lifted me above the illness I had manifested and paved a road for me. A road grounded in lessons I had learned from you, reminders of the love I now knew to be real, and devoid of anguish that once sucked me into the void.