fall

in the darkness, i wait for words. i wait for breath. i wait for you.
in candlelight, i wish for love, i wish for heat, i wish for you.
in sunlight, i pray for peace, i pray for solace, i pray for you.
i am tied up in a litany of reasons as to why I should leave.
i am constrained to a hope that is flourishing, fleeting, gone.
vanished.
missing.
departed.
a hope that bears no sunlight, no radiance, just warmth.
warmth from a vision I have manifested on my own.
dug up from the middle of my stomach
churning with false provisions
and laced with danger, delusion, and fallacy.
i want to plunge from you.
hard and fast to the ground until I break.
into a thousand pieces that I have to pick up and paste back together.
i want to see my fall this time and understand its meaning.
i want to crumble to find myself and learn again the reasons why.
i need power to face my fears
and acceptance to permit grace.

photo by: joshua bronaugh