validation.

your validation eludes me.
your words are empty;
a hollow mess of promises you can’t even pretend to know.
you are a ghost, living between two worlds,
illuminating yourself by a light i’ve never seen nor touched.
you live in delusion and fail to find yourself.
but. I seek you out. I wait for your love.
I conform to your desire,
and lose pieces of me as I continue on in the path of familiarity.
I am cognizant of my choice. I am mindful of your position.
Your unavailability is my comfort
and I continue to tredge the line of
destruction.

photo by: steve gray

love.

I can still touch the tears that do not fall as my face still warms with the thoughts of you.

I am golden in my envy. I am conscious of love.

even with all the bullshit swimming in my stomach, you

… my love …

are still missed.

(this was written months ago ... i just never posted. but i was looking back at old writings today, and this one felt sweet. so. i thought i'd post. xo)