p.r.i.z.e.

It rests on me in hours.

The daylight offers no release.

I am gagged by its promise.

I am cuffed to its shame.

I carry its burden, chained to my heart;

I endure its ridicule,

I tempt kisses with its fate.

You laugh at my falter, you spit in my face,

you encourage my fall dear, you aid in the debate.

It’s become an over-powerment,

it’s a beast of its own disguise.

It’s a legend of its fortitude,

it’s a joke ...

and still a prize.

stillness....

I have found composure in the stillness of my quiet. I have gained perspective and knowledge respectivley amid the tears I used to bathe in. I have become robust in my search of self awareness. I am resiliant in the darkness and unafraid of love. The parts of me that used to cower with fear are now exposed and brilliant, confident and sheer. I hold vulnerabilty with a new respect. I share insight with my soul. I have found that rebirth is diplomatic and laughter is not overrated.

I do shine differently now. I glow with a new tenancity. I have seen the face of hell, fallen into the pit of it, brushed myself off and screamed bloody mary to the demons that used to perch themselves on my shoulder. Where once I lacked in confidence, I now rise above in grace.